Woke up with tears.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008 @ 7:03 PM
This morning, I had a very bad dream. Not say bad, I should put it as rather furious and sad.It all started off with a plesant trip with family and friends to a new place (I don't know where), settled down at a village with very nice weather and friendly people around smiling to you like they know you.We had games planned and organised for all our friends.Running, jumping and shouting all around.As I was stolling down a street, I saw one of my very good friend running with an still-recovering leg, however with her very sweet smile on her face - enjoying with everybody.As I turned around, I sat down with my family on a round marble table to chit chat. Right at the opposite side of me, was my father. Left side, was my mummy.His face looked very unhappy and seems to wanna pick up a fight.For a unknown reason, he picked on me. I don't know why and felt ridiculous again. (as usual in reality)He complained about this and that, I forgotten what is it about them.Then he critisize about my friend!!The one who had an still-recovering leg. She couldn't walk properly, I felt heart-pain for her.I ignored him, my mummy advised me to.But mumbling to myself, "shi la shi la, she me dou shi wo de cuo." (yes la yes la, everything's my fault)He added on his whinning and complaints.My friend walked by, smiling signalling me to follow her to play games."Ni kan la ni de peng you. Mei you yong de, PAI KA DE! Ni gen ta men yi yang, quan bu dou mei you yong de"(You see la, your friend's leg. Can't walk propely, useless. You and them are all the same, all useless people)My father critisized in front of me.I WAS PISSED OFF AND FELT FUCKING STONG SENSE OF INJUSTICE.I stood up and pushed the table. Point him and screamed at him with damn furious eyes." Ta shi wo de hao peng you leh! Ni shou wo hai bu gou? Ren jia shou shang ni ye yao pi ping?! PING SHE MO ZHE YANG JIANG WO MEN? Ni shi zhe yang dang pa pa de ah? Wo bu zhun ni zhe yang shou wo peng you wo gao zu ni! CB."( she's my good friend leh! Is it not enough for you to critisize only me? Even her injured legs you also have issues about it?! WHAT RIGHTS DO YOU HAVE TO SAY US WITH THOSE THINGS? Is this how you behave as a father? I don't allow you to critisize my friend like this! CB.")I walked away with damn ruined mood, the dream felt so real.I hide behind a boat's pillar, crying with my heart hurt, stabbed. How could I have such a ridiculous and inhuman father? The way he see my friend and I, tsk.A person then walked to me and comfort me, accompanying me by my side.I woke up. I realised my cheeks were wet. My eyes were swollen, I cried.What a dream, and I never hope that this would come true. Even though the comfort was really nice.